the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Just took my morning after pill in the library
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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