i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
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I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
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I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
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