So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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