I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
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I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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