who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
