The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
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He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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