I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
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I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
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Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?