some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
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Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
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He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together