Can Purell be used as lube?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
