We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.