he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical