plz talk dirty to me
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
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He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
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Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.