I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
