Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
We're facebook friends in real life
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
