where am i from again
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
