So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
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To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
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I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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