Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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