you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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