Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
