Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
