Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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