I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
