He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
