Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms

(1-248): View more from Michigan

Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way

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(847): View more from Illinois

I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.

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(773): View more from Illinois

I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.

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(435): View more from Utah

It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.

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