We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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