Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
