just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
