Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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