Buhtt sex?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
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He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
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Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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