I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
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New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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