I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
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Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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