I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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