it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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