I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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