There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
