i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
