we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
