batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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