Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
