his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
