Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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