Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
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