I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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