Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
be right there i have to get my cape
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
