Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
