I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
It's official drugs can't kill me
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
