I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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