your parents love me but you hate me
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
