Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
