ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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