I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
