And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
