i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
well you can't waste a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize