don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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