so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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