it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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