Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
