And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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