You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
no more duck duck goose at the bar
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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