And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
