You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
