I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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