When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize