I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
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and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
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I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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