ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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