my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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