he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
