you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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