Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
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you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
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I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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