She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
