Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
