im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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