I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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