I'm drive I can fine osifer
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
