video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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