He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
