Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize